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From one extreme to another

January 6, 2013

The Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays are a wonderful time to get together with family and friends. Both holidays always involve food, a LOT of food. You get invited to people’s homes with one thing in mind, to eat. Everyone who cooks pulls out all the stops and shows off their flair for the decadent. It’s the one time of the year that you may make sausage cheese balls, spinach dip, cookies and homemade candy and have them all in one day! Emails come bearing recipes from the 12 days of cookies, people are posting photos and recipes of their own family favorites on Facebook. Even if you are not someone who eats a lot of different things, there is always something that sounds or looks soooo good.
Then, after you have eaten yourself into a Christmas cookie coma, January 1, comes and rears its ugly head to make us feel guilty. Make your New Years resolution to lose weight and get in shape. Instead of cookie recipes we get bombarded with 12 ways to eat tofu. Who came up with this!? Instead of real butter, we’re told to skip any sort of spread and just have dry toast and water. Oh, bread is full of carbs so just stick to the water. Instead of commercials with warm rolls dripping butter and the happy, chubby doughboy, you wind up looking at some stick skinny model telling you if you use her diet plan you can look like her in 6 weeks. What happened to all the happy people around Christmas? These skinny folks look miserable. Have you ever noticed NBC doesn’t have “The Biggest Loser” on during the holidays? Nobody wants to see that while they’re eating crockpot fudge. Those skinny women are mean, screaming at those people to keep working out until they throw up or die. I’d be mean too if I only had lettuce and protein shakes to eat. They make those folks run miles on a treadmill to get where? Nowhere. Someone could at least hang a donut on a string in front of them so they have a goal. They just look like big sweaty hamsters running on a wheel. Even the hamsters have wised up and are driving Kia’s.
I have simply resolved not to make New Years resolutions. I just want to do my part to keep the economy on the right track. Remember that a lot of people who work at Krispy Kreme are depending on all of us for job security. Let’s not let them down.

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